Dealign from Self, Depend on Him

Katherine Lim

I was torn between attending a bonding retreat with my local church cell group and attending AWE (Alignment WeekEnd) in the year 2019.  After praying over the matter, I knew in my heart that I should go for AWE and when I informed my cell leader that I could not join the retreat, she was understanding and gave me her blessings. I knew that the Lord had made a way for me.

Was I awakened at AWE2019! I was gaining entirely new kingdom perspectives. I learnt what God’s kingdom is about, what it means to move from the Assembly Area where soldiers are trained to the Area of Operation where we bring kingdom influence. I learnt how to check alignment. During a personal reflection time, I heard the Lord speak, “My child, what do you want Me to do for you?” I replied, “I want a breakthrough in my spiritual life!” Little did I know what was ahead of me leading to the breakthrough. 

After AWE2019, I was ready to sign up for MAP, the Mentoring Aligning Process where I would dive more deeply into the Alignment Check framework. There was a desire in me to be rightly aligned with God and do His kingdom work. 

During the six-month journey, one of our assigned tasks was to share one aspect of the Alignment Check framework in front of a group of people and I had many sleepless nights about this task so I decided to fast. Then, everything that could go wrong started to go wrong! 

I found myself stuck in the preparation. I could not find scriptural references to support my points. Items in my house began to malfunction. Time was needed to attend to the replacements. At the same time, the parts of my car which I was using to bring in my main mode of income, started to break down too, one after another. The cost of repair was painful. Furthermore, I received a letter to pay a fine for driving through a red light. Before I could comprehend all that was happening, I had an accident and as a private settlement, I compensated the driver. My bank account dwindled like a gushing tap that could not be closed. As if these were not stressful enough, my brother who had to undergo urgent angioplasty for his severely blocked arteries was so close to getting a heart attack. I almost lost him, my only sibling, we had gone through so much together. Stress was eating me up, to say the least. 

I asked God what was happening. I was  overwhelmed, discouraged, disheartened, and totally drained out by this run of events amidst having to prepare for my sharing. Then God used these words Henson wrote in his book Alignment Check to speak to me, “For it is when we are weak that we become strong in Him. When we fast, we declare our full dependence upon Him. The battle belongs to the Lord. And surely, He fights for us.” 

My broken spirit was renewed and I prayed for God’s strength to press on. I was dealing with everything in my own strength. Focusing my eyes on the cross, I released to God every situation and struggle. Eventually, every matter was resolved. God never failed to provide at the right moment. 

Misalignments surfaced time and again. An ongoing alignment check found me submitting to God and daily releasing to Him my family, my career, my material possessions, my time, my friends, my attitude, my thoughts and words, my actions, my everything!

It was like going on an expedition in my mind and I was overwhelmed with so much information to process each week. Every session seemed too profound for my understanding (and still is). There were times when I was so exhausted and wanted to throw in the towel, I struggled and dragged myself to pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to hold me tight and help me stay the course and in the process, He directed me to read the book of Psalms. I began reading Psalm 27, then Psalm 25, Psalm 30, Psalm 63, Psalm 70 and many more… and I began to fall in love with the book of Psalms! God’s Word breathed new strength and meaning into me. I was refreshed and could soldier on. Also, having fellow MAPpers who were so candid about their struggles helped me to know that I was not alone. 

Did I get my spiritual breakthrough? Absolutely! The Lord had answered my request! 

Dear Archippus…

To try to fulfil kingdom initiatives with our own strengths and wisdom will find ourselves coming to the end of ourselves all too soon. We will be stressed, tired out and discouraged. Henson writes in Alignment Check, “We need divine empowerment and spiritual resources and these are appropriated through fasting and prayer.” Fasting is empowerment. Remember, when we fast, we declare our full dependence upon Him.

Are you overwhelmed with many issues in life? Have you considered committing to fast?

About Katherine

Katherine loves animals. Her home is a sanctuary to a blind dog, a senior cat and two rabbits, and six humans all living harmoniously under one roof. She depends daily on God’s grace and daily bread, as she moves on her assignment wherever the King leads her.