I was at the lowest ebb of my life when one evening, I heard a still, small voice asking me, “Am I good?” Instinctively, I responded, “God, You alone are good.” With an aching heart, I added, “Even with these challenges pulling me down, You are always good.”
The year 2016 was beset with challenges. Battling with my husband’s health crisis, questions and fear assaulted my mind. I kept asking God, “God, where had we gone wrong? Did we not do well? Are You using these challenges to show us that You are disqualifying and eliminating us from serving You?”
Two years before, my husband, Caleb and I had left our former church where, for decades, we had been attending and serving faithfully. The questions kept gnawing at me but Caleb and I kept clinging onto God.
That evening, when God asked me if He was good, it was the beginning of things turning around for us. On 10th Dec 2016, at an Archippus Awakening (AA) seminar which Caleb and I attended, I heard Pastor Henson illustrate God’s grace through an example from the television reality show, ‘The Amazing Race’. In this sport, the losing contestants of each round were eliminated. A participating couple, losing the race and expecting to be eliminated, were advised to continue the race because in that round, it was a non-elimination one! With much relief and delight, they carried on the race!
When I heard that example, my heart leapt! At that moment, I saw an image of a couple, looking worn out, rising from their prostrate positions, and with renewed vigour, ran on the tracks again. I knew that God was saying to me that He would never eliminate Caleb and me because of His goodness and grace. God then instructed us to get up and get on with the race. That was God’s amazing grace. That was His answer to clear the doubts that had been twirling in my mind earlier.
To think that had it not been for God’s grace and goodness, I would have missed attending the AA seminar that Saturday. After Caleb had registered for the seminar, I saw how tight my schedule was that week and I decided to give the seminar a miss. But God knew my misaligned decision that would thwart His plan for me and He intervened. One night, while I was praying, I heard an audible voice say, “Archippus Awakening is for you.” I obeyed the voice. In retrospect, I saw my misalignment in doubting God, listening to the lies in my head and making my own decision without consulting Him.
By God’s grace, He began to assign the race for us to run. Today, Caleb and I are leading a team to reach out to the community in Kovan and Clementi. We would approach strangers with non-threatening conversation starters and as we converse, we share the gospel with them. I remain amazed at God’s grace each time I witness someone accepting King Jesus into his or her life.
One time, during our outreach, both my teammate and I picked up a strong whiff of fragrance. We perceived God’s presence with us so we waited and watched. Soon, a student came and sat next to me. Believing that God had directed her to me, I shared the gospel with her. She received the Lord into her heart. Interestingly, before she left, she commented that it had to be the angels that had brought her to that seat. The angels were not done because another woman soon came and stood near me. She became the next person to receive the Lord into her heart!
It was not all the time this smooth. While sharing the gospel with one man during another outreach, he would frequently interrupt me with his doubts and arguments. The lengthy exchange between us seemed to be going nowhere so I asked the Holy Spirit for help. Immediately, He prompted me, “Tell him he is proud.” I hesitated because he could be abusive, nevertheless, I obeyed. Upon hearing the words, he abruptly stopped arguing. Sensing he was cut by the words, I asked if he wanted to believe in Jesus. He said yes! When he prayed to Jesus, he added these words himself, “Jesus, forgive me that I am proud.” Only the Holy Spirit can convict his heart!
As we carry out our assignments, we too do not meet the standards of God. Every honest, humble and humbled servant of God know that all too well. When we stand before Him, we know we deserve to be eliminated. Yet, God looks at us, sees the righteousness of Jesus imputed upon us, and by grace declares, “This is a non-elimination round.” That’s what grace is all about. God’s amazing grace keeps us in the amazing race.
Do you know your ministry and assignment? Have you begun to run the race marked out for you?
A former secondary school teacher, Elaine now teaches part-time. As an introvert, she is amazed that God has called her to reach out to strangers to share the gospel with them.